Monday, September 29, 2014

Too Much New

Well, I just bought two sweaters and I had to sleep in flannel pajamas the other night, so I guess you could say summer's over. That and the fact that I'm currently sitting in a college library waiting for my 12:00 class to start.. but I'm still wearing shorts (with a sweater) so I haven't given up hope on my Indian summer. I'd say that wearing shorts in late September is more than my little heart could have possibly hoped for this summer. It has been glorious.

The evenings aren't exactly what one would call warm anymore. In fact, one could say that they're downright chilly. We had a big bonfire at my parents' house last weekend and it was exactly the right temperature to enjoy without roasting on one side and freezing on the other. It's just the right temperature of chill.

I started class last week and have been overcome by a level of anxiety that I don't think I have ever felt before. Not when I moved to a different country. Not when I got married. I haven't been able to eat and my stomach is in constant knots.

I suppose that being in a constant state of unease will do that to a person, but as I said, it's a completely new experience. Do people grow more anxious as they grow older? Is that a normal thing?

Everything I have been experiencing this past week has been new and uncomfortable: a new apartment, a new city, a new school, a new schedule, a new job, oh, and a new undergraduate research project.

I can only handle so much new before I implode, you know?

Thankfully, coming back to my parents' house this weekend as well as attending our very familiar church has had an overwhelmingly calming effect on me. I felt myself close to tears several times during the service for no reason at all, except for the realization that people care about Forrest and me and how we are adjusting. It may seem like a small thing, but it helped tremendously.

Being home is comforting too. I enjoyed sitting on the back porch with my Jasper dog and kitty who immediately climbed into my lap as I sat down to edit pictures. I do have some of the familiarity in my life.
I also took a few pictures of Megan's sunflowers which we have been waiting on for several months. 
Here's to hoping that all of this anxiousness will disappear as I grow more comfortable with my new responsibilities and interactions.

Also, my dad taught Jasper how to hold a treat on his nose and catch it. It's pretty impressive and he almost never misses.
My puppy.

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